I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
