just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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