you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
