I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
