He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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