i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
