That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
