you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
