u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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