Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
