Will you blow on my dice?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
