i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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