I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
