let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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