your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
