At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
