On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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