Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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