how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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