oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bring me that man meat
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
