I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
