i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
