she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
