Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
