i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
