I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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