actually, I'm a sock model
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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