Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
