I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize