I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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