Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
