He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
