it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They took my balls.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
