Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
