Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
