No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
