How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
