you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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