did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
