in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
