eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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