Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
