This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
