my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
