Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
