we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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