How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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