sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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