I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
