talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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