Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
