Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i dont even know how to be here
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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