Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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