I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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