his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
