Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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