I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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