ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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