Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
