You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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